The answer is YES! In this article I will share with you the different verbiage that many brides mistake for gratuity and explain who you should tip after your wedding and how much.
Being a bartender in a couple of high-volume country bars and later in a busy bar on 6th Street, I have heard a couple of different origins for the word “tips”. It is an acronym that comes from the words either To Insure Prompt Service or To Insure Proper Service (TIPS). The word you should focus on here is “service”. All of the vendors you hire are providing a service to you that when added together should bring to life a spectacular wedding day. The wedding bartender is not the only person providing a service and therefore should not be the only person tipped.
Some clients see the words “gratuity”, “service charge”, “service fee”, or “coordination charge/fee” on a catering invoice and assume that money will go to the catering service staff at their wedding. This is not the case! The waiters/servers rarely see even a little bit of that money. It is important to ask your catering sales person how much, if any of that money goes to the service staff. These people will be doing the most labor intensive work at your wedding and deserve to be tipped. The average amount is $25 per server and each one should be tipped individually. You should include the Event Manager in the service staff calculations. Your final catering bill should have the number of staff that will be working your wedding. If it doesn’t, be sure to ask.
How to do it? Slip cash or personal checks into envelopes and hand them out at the end of the night. Assign this to the father of the bride, the best man, maid of honor or your planner.
Do Tip
- Your Officiant: $25 to $100, depending on how many guests you have.( this may be considered a “Gift”)
- Ceremony assistants (altar boys, organist): $5 to $25 each (but first ask a clergy member whether tips are covered by the church fee).
- The caterer (only if gratuities are not already covered in the contract): $15 to $40 per server; $50 to $75 for the Event Manager; the chef: $1 to $2 per guest (only if he/she is present at your event).
- Bartender: $15-20% of the bar tab. If you plan to tip the bartender make sure they do not accept tips from your guests.
- Divide an additional 5% of the total food and beverage cost among the maitre d’, coat checker and bathroom attendants.
- Hair and makeup artists: 15 to 20% of their fees.
- The limousine drivers: 18 to 20% (unless it’s included in the contract).
- Valet Parkers $1 or $2 per car
- Musicians: $25 per band member or in the case of a DJ 15% of their total bill
- Church organist or other church musicians unless included in the rental fee for the church $35-$50 each is appropriate. If they are close family friends the average gratuity is $75-$100.
- The Wedding Coordinator/Planner 15-20% (optional)
- Wedding Coordinator’s Assistant’s $35-$50 each
Make sure that you plan to include tips in your budget because tipping costs can become quite substantial. Above all, gage your tips on the level of service you received from your vendors. If service is above and beyond what you expected and exceptional, a larger tip than average is appropriate. Tipping also depends somewhat on where you live, check with your local vendors if you have any concerns.
Don’t Tip
- The florist
- The baker (it is acceptable to tip $10-$25 to the delivery person)
- The photographer
There is always a big debate over whether or not to tip the owner of a company. Most wedding businesses are small, locally owned companies, so there’s a very good chance that most of your vendors are the owners of their companies. There is no cut and dry answer to this and the bottom line is that it is really your call whether to tip them or not. A gratuity should never be expected by the owner, but I can guarantee that it is always appreciated.
